Without the organ donor, there is no story: honouring the gift of life at annual Donor Medal Ceremonies

13/11/2024

The upcoming Knowledge Network docuseries Transplant Stories follows the emotional journeys of transplant patients. But, without the organ donor, there is no story. BC Transplant honours deceased donors every year at our Donor Medal Ceremonies.

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A year and a half after her son Daniel’s tragic death from a fentanyl poisoning, Jill Martens braced herself for another gut-wrenching day. She, her husband John, and daughter Emily were on their way from their home in Penticton to the Donor Medal Ceremony in Kelowna, hosted by BC Transplant.

“You know your heart is about to be ripped out of your chest again. But when we got there, we just felt like we were with kindred spirits. Everyone is on the same page and we are all there for the same reasons,” she recalls.

Jill and John invited two special guests to the ceremony – the couple who found Daniel slumped over in his car and performed CPR on him until the paramedics could arrive. Daniel saved four people’s lives that day. He was one week away from his 24th birthday.

John, Jill and Emily

A chance connection through a friend brought Jill together with the compassionate bystanders just weeks after Daniel’s death. The couple went up to the stage to accept the medal honouring Daniel’s gifts of life.

“It just seemed right to have them accept the medal, because without them stopping to check on Daniel that day, there would be no story of organ donation,” Jill says. “The medal always sits next to a photo of Daniel in our living room.”

Annual ceremonies honour and recognize donors and their families

The Kelowna event Jill attended is one of three in-person Donor Medal Ceremonies held each fall by BC Transplant to honour deceased organ donors from the previous year and their family members. Since the pandemic, there is also a virtual ceremony annually for those who are not able to attend an in-person event. Each year, about 60 families choose to attend one of the ceremonies.

“Hundreds of people in B.C. receive life-saving organ transplants every year and the reason that this is possible is because of the profound courage and generosity of organ donors and their families and this deserves recognition beyond a simple thank you,” explains Jordy Hermiston, BC Transplant’s Manager of Patient and Family Experience.

Families are asked to bring a photo of their loved one to display at the front table and a special memento that is important to their loved one to have at their table. For many attendees, walking to the front to place their loved one’s photo and then seeing the pictures of all the donors being honoured at the ceremony is emotional.

During the event, a donor family member and transplant recipient, both BC Transplant volunteers, share their stories. Then as each donor’s name is read out, a family member comes to the front to receive a medal in honour of their loved one.

Jordy shares that it is powerful to be in a room full of people who have made such a courageous decision at a time of deep sorrow.

“When donor family members consent to organ donation, they have faith that their decision will positively impact patients and families through organ transplant. However, the outcome of their decision can feel intangible. The ceremonies are an opportunity for them to connect their decision to the incredible impact on transplant recipients, and to understand the stories and experiences of transplant recipients and donor family volunteers.”

Connecting with other donor family members has been healing

At the end of the ceremony Jill attended, seven years ago now, she was so inspired by the speakers that she told one of the BC Transplant staff she would be willing to volunteer in the future. She still remembers the first time she spoke at a Donor Medal Ceremony a couple of years later. She usually avoided public speaking and was very nervous, but she found that writing the speech was cathartic and helped her on her journey.

“It’s been so therapeutic for me,” Jill comments. “There are no new memories with Daniel, so being able to retell his story over and over again, it’s wonderful; a unique opportunity. It’s a way to keep him alive and even just to be able to say his name is rewarding.”

Jill, a retired nurse, finds it especially rewarding to connect with other donor family members at the ceremonies.

“I have worked so hard through my grief and I just want people to know that things will get better. That’s what people need to hear in the beginning…they are going to be OK. Face your pain and work through your pain, but one day your grief will soften and things will get better. I tell the other donor family members that slowly and surely, there will be less pain and more laughs and joyful feelings when they think about the good times they shared with their loved one.”

That’s where Jill is at now when she thinks about Daniel. She and John, along with their daughter Emily, who is also a nurse, beam with pride and happiness when they talk about Daniel and his gifts of life. She says his organ donation has been such a positive thing to come out of a terrible tragedy.

“Because Daniel saved those four people’s lives, maybe someone was able to have a baby. Maybe someone was able to go to their child’s wedding. Maybe they were able to be a grandparent. Maybe they could go to the Olympics! It’s just to infinity and beyond what Daniel and all organ donors have done through their final act as they exit this realm that we live in. Sometimes we don’t even truly understand the ripple effects we are causing, but it’s there.”

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See the impact and power of organ donation through the docuseries Transplant Stories, premiering November 19 on the Knowledge Network, or stream for free on www.knowledgenetwork.ca/transplant-stories. Are you registered? One organ donor can save up to eight lives.

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