It’s the little inside jokes with his late wife Nathan Sagert misses the most. He and Michelle knew each other so well after 17 years together and they loved to push each other’s buttons in a fun and playful way.
“A lot of the stuff that made me laugh were the inside jokes, the life experiences we had together, and only things that she knew,” says Nathan, who recently turned 42 years old. “Those are things I will hold onto. That is who she was.”
Nathan points to the name of his puppy as the perfect example. Michelle was a huge animal lover and long-time supporter of the SPCA. After their dog of 14 years died in November 2023, they put a deposit down on a puppy. It was Michelle’s turn to pick out the name, despite her husband’s protests. On the day Michelle died, Nathan got a message saying their new dog had just been born. Its name is Polly.
“Polly brings me a lot of joy. She is a reason to get up. I have to take her on hikes and go on runs with her,” remarks Nathan, a high school physical education teacher. “I like to think Michelle left me something to keep me going.”
Nathan and Michelle first met when she was in university. He remembers how beautiful she was, but there was so much more than physical attraction.
“Michelle was so confident. She instilled a confidence in me I didn’t think I had, and she did that for other people,” explains Nathan. “Just being around Michelle created confidence and that drew me to her.”
They started dating and ended up going to university together. The couple worked hard in the summer and bought their own place while going to school. After nine years, they got married. By then, Nathan was teaching and Michelle was a manager at the Elizabeth Fry Society.
Three days after their wedding, they packed everything up and left Vancouver to move to England. Nathan worked as a teacher and played rugby. Michelle went back to university and obtained a law degree.
The couple returned to the Lower Mainland two years later and life got busy. Nathan was back at teaching and Michelle’s legal career was flourishing. She quickly established herself as a respected lawyer, leader and community advocate.
The couple had some discussions about starting a family, but Michelle was working long hours and in their spare time they loved to travel. One of their final trips together was just after their beloved dog died. During Christmas in 2023, Nathan and Michelle went to Hawaii. Her family joined them for part of the trip.
“Those are some of my favourite memories with her. We went to the Big Island with her family, and then the two of us went to Kauai and Maui. We always reconnected on our trips.”
Nathan had been urging Michelle to slow down, focus on her physical and mental health and stop prioritizing work. He says she was starting to do that. A few months prior, she took a job much closer to home with less driving and less stress, but they both assumed they had more time.
In February 2024, Michelle was in the Intensive Care Unit at Royal Columbian Hospital. She had suffered a stroke and the damage was too severe. She was only 35 years old.
“I can see the exact spot in the hospital room when we had the initial conversation about organ donation. As hard as it was, it was an obvious decision,” Nathan says. “Michelle and I were both similar in our thoughts - if I am no longer here and there are parts of me that can be used to help others, there is no point in burying that in the ground.”
The pair had talked about organ donation, which made it much easier to say yes. Michelle was also a registered organ donor. On her form in the comments section, she had written a note for her family, “Let my body serve through others.” She saved five lives through organ donation and improved several other lives through eye donation.
Nathan knows it can be difficult for people to think about their loved one undergoing an additional surgery in order to give the gift of life, but he says it has brought him solace to know Michelle lives on in others.
“Other people are here because of the good decision she made. My wife didn’t get a second chance, but others did,” he remarks. “I think it’s one of the most selfless things you can do as a human when you can provide life to someone else when your life is ending.”
As he works through his grief, Nathan is grateful to have his puppy Polly at his side. Polly is a constant reminder of how long Michelle has been gone, especially as milestone occasions such as birthdays pass by.
It has now been a year since Michelle’s passing. Nathan has received some letters from Michelle’s recipients, though he hasn’t responded yet. But he wants them to know his wife was an incredible person.
“Michelle lived her life to the fullest so I hope you do the same with the chance you have been given,” emphasizes Nathan. “I know it sounds cliche, but don’t live like the next day will be given to you, live it like it’s your last day. We all think we have more time, but sometimes we don’t.”
—----
Are you a registered organ donor? More than 90 percent of British Columbians support organ donation, yet fewer than one in three people are actually registered. It takes just two minutes and all you need is your Personal Health Number. Registeryourdecision.ca today and you could save lives.
